Confession Time

First off, I apologize to Team Angie. I have done far from my best the past 3 weeks. I also apologize that you are about to read a bunch of excuses as to why I overate and lazed around. I just feel that I need to vent & wallow in self-pity for just a little bit

Here is a brief summary of a few of my “issues”

1) My house fell apart. My furnace died ($3200 for a “mid”-efficiency furnace – not even the energy efficient kind). The same week, my fuse panel started blowing fuses. Apparently, I have a “corroded bus bar”. At the advise of the electrician (and my dad), I am replacing the fuse box with a breaker box ($1400). Thankfully, it was bonus payout week so I had a bit of financial help – the rest is going on the good ol’ Mastercard. The new furnace came with a new, smaller thermostat which means I need to dig out some paint and do a touch-up job.

2) I need my microwave. One of the fuses that blew is for the microwave. I cannot eat well without it. Ridiculous, I know. I try, but even my veggies are usually the frozen streamer bags. I’ve cooked a bit with the oven, but reheating leftovers (which always exist when you are cooking for 1), is a pain in the big oven. I do have a toaster oven, but its fuse is also blown. Anyway, this is just a small reason why I’ve eaten more junk food lately. The electrical issues should be fixed within a week (just waiting for city permits).

3) Valentine’s Day. For the first time ever, it depressed me. I think that I was able to survive being single while all my friends got married, but now that they are starting to have kids (my best friend already has 3 and my three next closest friends all had/will have babies in 2009). I hate that they are moving on in life without me. As much as I can be, I’m included in things, but realistically, I’m going to be left out. I don’t know why I can’t meet somebody. I think that I’m kind and funny. I wish it wasn’t so, but I think it’s all about looks (weight). My coworker convinced me to try eharmony, but I thought in fairness, I should post a pic. I posted what I thought was a flattering pic, but I’ve have NO responses. Seriously. That has made me feel worse than ever. What if I actually lose the weight and still have no takers? Not to mention that fact I’m almost 32! I actually found myself thinking I should just eat what I want (we’re talking Mickey D’s and cookies and chocolates galore)

4) I hurt my knee. I was carefully supervised by my trainer will doing lunges and holding weights. It was the first time I held weights while lunging. I’ve been lucky at my weight (220) to never have had knee issues. I knew something was wrong and that was it. I couldn’t lunge, squat or go down stairs for 4 days. I was so paranoid that I would make things worse – I haven’t been back to the gym. I can squat now though so hopefully it’s repaired itself. We’ll see…

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. I packed good meals for the day (even without the microwave) and I have my trainer this afternoon. I downloaded new podcasts and music onto my ipod so that should keep me motivated for the week. I weighed more this morning than I did Saturday so I’m hoping to just lose what I’ve gained this week. Thanks for listening.