Monday, March 2, 2009

Confession Time

First off, I apologize to Team Angie. I have done far from my best the past 3 weeks. I also apologize that you are about to read a bunch of excuses as to why I overate and lazed around. I just feel that I need to vent & wallow in self-pity for just a little bit

Here is a brief summary of a few of my “issues”

1) My house fell apart. My furnace died ($3200 for a “mid”-efficiency furnace – not even the energy efficient kind). The same week, my fuse panel started blowing fuses. Apparently, I have a “corroded bus bar”. At the advise of the electrician (and my dad), I am replacing the fuse box with a breaker box ($1400). Thankfully, it was bonus payout week so I had a bit of financial help – the rest is going on the good ol’ Mastercard. The new furnace came with a new, smaller thermostat which means I need to dig out some paint and do a touch-up job.

2) I need my microwave. One of the fuses that blew is for the microwave. I cannot eat well without it. Ridiculous, I know. I try, but even my veggies are usually the frozen streamer bags. I’ve cooked a bit with the oven, but reheating leftovers (which always exist when you are cooking for 1), is a pain in the big oven. I do have a toaster oven, but its fuse is also blown. Anyway, this is just a small reason why I’ve eaten more junk food lately. The electrical issues should be fixed within a week (just waiting for city permits).

3) Valentine’s Day. For the first time ever, it depressed me. I think that I was able to survive being single while all my friends got married, but now that they are starting to have kids (my best friend already has 3 and my three next closest friends all had/will have babies in 2009). I hate that they are moving on in life without me. As much as I can be, I’m included in things, but realistically, I’m going to be left out. I don’t know why I can’t meet somebody. I think that I’m kind and funny. I wish it wasn’t so, but I think it’s all about looks (weight). My coworker convinced me to try eharmony, but I thought in fairness, I should post a pic. I posted what I thought was a flattering pic, but I’ve have NO responses. Seriously. That has made me feel worse than ever. What if I actually lose the weight and still have no takers? Not to mention that fact I’m almost 32! I actually found myself thinking I should just eat what I want (we’re talking Mickey D’s and cookies and chocolates galore)

4) I hurt my knee. I was carefully supervised by my trainer will doing lunges and holding weights. It was the first time I held weights while lunging. I’ve been lucky at my weight (220) to never have had knee issues. I knew something was wrong and that was it. I couldn’t lunge, squat or go down stairs for 4 days. I was so paranoid that I would make things worse – I haven’t been back to the gym. I can squat now though so hopefully it’s repaired itself. We’ll see…

Anyway, I just wanted to get that off my chest. I packed good meals for the day (even without the microwave) and I have my trainer this afternoon. I downloaded new podcasts and music onto my ipod so that should keep me motivated for the week. I weighed more this morning than I did Saturday so I’m hoping to just lose what I’ve gained this week. Thanks for listening.


Lainey said...

Sorry to hear that you're struggling. Regarding Eharmony, how long has it been? Give it some time!

H-woman said...

The first step is recognizing the excuses for being excuses, which means you're well on your way to a better week.

It sounds as though you've had a tough time, though. Egad! I lived without a microwave for almost three weeks and it sucked! I didn't realize just how much I used it.

I was on e-Harmony and if those are the guys that are best suited for me, well, I've got a thing or two to say to the good doc. Three of 'em were still either fresh from a break-up (one month after a 12 year relationship, hello?) or still had so many issues with the ex that it was not pretty. I think I gave it a fair shot, but I found I had more matches once I cancelled my subscription. Go figure.

H =)

Healthy Hunter said...

I completely relate to what you're going through on the dating front. After taking a trip to Cabo with friends last weekend, I realized how much I want to be with someone. It's hard to admit that to myself, but then I try to snap out of it and realize that I can still enjoy life to the fullest, with or without prince charming! It WILL happen :) Hang in there!